Yellow Socks

There is a trend these days, in a society dominated by Health and Safety gone mad, for high-visibility tabards for anybody providing any sort of public function.

At one time it was workmen digging up busy roads who were the only people who wore these safety garments, but now it is school teachers, lollipop ladies, shop assistants and office cleaners, all assaulting our eyes with a yellow neon glow. We’ve even seen a who school playground full of kids running around in yellow tabards, school governors terrified that one might run into another and send their insurance premiums through the roof.

The desire to dress entirely head-to-toe in high visibility material can be the only reason that people buy yellow socks. This high-speed society makes some people nervous to leave their front door in case they are knocked flat by some sort of Jeremy Clarkson-fuelled idiot driving their car too fast. The full-length hi-vis tabard still being on the drawing board, the wearer must construct an outfit of their own devising, hence yellow socks.

If you wear yellow socks for any other reason, you are wrong, and have no defense.

On the other hand, a pair of fine black cotton socks from is the perfect choice. Stand out and be seen amid the hordes of hi-vis tabards.

Celebrity Wearer: Maureen from TV’s Driving School