Wank Socks

In the name of completeness, it falls to us to include Wank Socks in this A-Z of Socks.

Usually the poor survivor of a lost sock accident, and invariably one of a pair of old gym socks, the wank sock serves as the receptacle for a young man’s disgusting night manipulations for which we have no truck whatsoever.

Like many traditions, they were brought to Britain by the late Prince Albert, whose terror of discovery led to a cache of crusty socks being established behind the hot water pipes in the Round Tower of Windsor Castle. The discovery of this trove of shame by Queen Victoria led to the phrase “We are not amused”.

The Wank sock itself came from the town of Wank in southern Germany, where they are made from the fleece of the sheep found on the nearby Wank mountain, by local people known as Wa… (that’s enough – ed)

If you have had enough of this filth, why not purchase stout British black cotton socks? Guaranteed perfect for feet, and feet only. socked.co.ukĀ 

Celebrity Wearer: We asked all the celebrities we knew, and none owned up. Not even Keith Chegwin