School Socks

The school uniform – a necessary evil designed to teach children the need for disciple and prepare them for life in a world governed by rules; or a set of clothes to poison young minds into a life of conformity that may has well be a straight jacket? Many are the parent who has received the uniform list from their offspring’s new school, and sighed at the expense of it all.

The latest fad – after uniforms with embroidered badges that could only be bought from the official school supplier at a considerable mark-up – is the clip-on tie, because precisely nobody has ever been strangled in a failed attempt to get dressed in the morning. If the school uniform is there to prepare children for their adult life, clip-on ties do the opposite. Turn up for a meeting in a clip-on tie, and you’ll be hounded out of town and you will never work again.

The same goes for socks, and – until they invent paint-on socks for the poor darlings who cannot work out how to get dressed in the morning – many schools have this right. Black or grey socks, below the knee and nothing else. No logos, no cartoon characters and absolutely no “Keep calm and wear socks”, because down that road leads insubordination, chaos and the very collapse of the school system in this country. For the young ladies, white socks may be acceptable.

Of course, the teachers must lead by example, and they too should (unless they teach the Arts) wear smart uniform colours. A sock subscription from socked.co.uk is ideal for those in the teaching profession. Smart black socks, which allow their old footwear to be rolled into balls to hurl at recalcitrant pupils.

Celebrity Wearer: Tucker Jenkins