Red Socks

If you’re looking for the Boston Red Sox, you’ve come to the wrong place. For a start, what kind of imbecile spells “socks” with an “x”, and then takes part in a major sporting event flaunting their inability to spell? Also, we’re Yankees fans.

Red socks, of the variety that you wear on your feet play a minor part in the entire pantheon of sock wearing. Wearing a pair of red socks – it has been scientifically proven through repeated experiments – make a person exactly 56.23% more cheerful, and 19.92% less likely to commit an act of road rage on their morning commute.

However, red socks also have a darker side. A Kremlin edict signed by Josef Stalin in June 1946 made it illegal for party members to wear anything other than red socks. After tens of thousands of blameless victims were transferred to prison camps, it was pointed out that the factory providing left socks could not keep up with the production of the right sock factory, leading to a massive national red sock shortage. Stalin’s executive order, however, stayed in place until the weeks after his death in 1953.

Stalin was no gentleman, for he would have worn fine black cotton socks. Say no to murderous dictators with a subscription fromĀ 

Celebrity Wearer: Josef Stalin