Odd Socks

It came as an enormous shock to us recently that certain people, who we shall call variously “fashionistas” and “idiots” choose to wear odd socks as some sort of anti-fashion statement.

News reached us of certain areas in central London dominated by the creative industries and advertising, where young executives and other hangers-on purposely let themselves be seen in public wearing non-matching socks. Despite our protests to New Scotland Yard, these areas have still to be surrounded and the criminals sorted out one pair of odd socks at a time.

Odd socks are a calamity that can befall anybody, particularly those who are time poor, or choose to get dressed in the dark (a recent study showed that of all people who get dressed in the morning 69% do so without any light, substantially increasing the chance of an odd sock incident).

While the chances of odd sock badness can be mitigated through a sock drawer containing only socks of one colours (For example, through the purchasing of a socked.co.uk which provides black cotton socks to the stylish gentleman or gentlewoman), quantum sock wormholes discovered by Stephen Hawking that are beyond the control of the wearer make it virtually certain that different colour socks will become mixed in at some stage.

The fact that fashionistas choose to mock this scientific phenomenon though their “ironic” sock choices is sick to the extreme, and should be stamped out immediately.

Celebrity Wearer: TV’s Gok Wan