Name Socks

These are – as the name suggests – socks with your name sewn into them.

We’ve thought long and hard about this, and have decided that this concept falls into the category of “Novelty Socks”. More specifically, the category “Novelty Socks that should be destroyed by fire, and the designers round-up and sent to a North Korean gulag”.

We may be biased, mainly because one of the Socked team has a complicated first name, and spent ten years living in a seaside town where not one of the tat shops of the promenade stocked a single key-fob, door sign or lucky bingo card holder bearing his name. He yearned for the simple “Ken,” “Steve” or “Mark”, but instead had a first name that even his bank couldn’t spell correctly in thirty years as a customer.

And now, seeing sock retailers offering “over 100 names to choose from”, he knows for certain that his name is not one of them, and all those years of therapy have been for nought.

We presume Name Socks are ideal for people with short-term memory loss, and need to glance down at their feet to remember who they are. Or perhaps, for wearing to the gym to avoid that all-too-common changing room argument over whose sock belongs to who. Unless there are two Steves, then the whole system falls over.

Of course, if you wear fine black cotton gentlemen’s socks from, there’s no need for a name on your socks. Everybody will know you as a well-dressed gentleman.

Celebrity Wearer: Any celebrity with one of the 100 names to choose from. Steve something. Redgrave. He’ll do.