Missing Socks

One of the great questions of sock ownership is “Where do lost socks go?” The answer is simple: Aliens.

Documents released by the National Archive show increasing UFO activity, coupled with ever greater reports of lost socks.

You may think your lost socks have been eaten by the washing machine, or lost down the back of the bed, but the real truth is out there. Invaders from other planets have mistaken socks for the dominant species on Earth, and have been taking them for cruel medical experiments. Also, they probably like socks.

In fact, government figures show a steady stream of UFO sightings over Britain, often near major population centres where people have recently lost socks.

Since the1990s, a spike of sock disappearances coincided with what UFO enthusiasts call the “Falkirk Triangle”, an area of Scotland where there are some 300 UFO sightings every year. Government figures show that large quantities of socks go missing from central Scotland every year, which people are forced to replace by buying more socks, which are eventually lost again. A veritable cycle of sock loss that can only be explained by interplanetary beings.

The best way to fight these alien invaders is with a regular socked.co.uk subscription. All Socked socks are guaranteed to be 100  per cent alien resistant.