August 29th 2013 |
Could this menagerie of germs lead to danger of infection?
The fluff that resides in your belly button could be housing potentially fatal dangers, one gentlemen’s style and advice website fears, as they offer to sponsor further studies.
If the evolution of germs found on badly-groomed and sweaty men continues, the “zoo” of germs inside a gentleman’s navel could promote infections that could lead to anything from mild discomfort, illness, or a fatal case of death, the website says.
According to British sock subscription website socked.co.uk, a lack of male hygiene means that men up and down the country might be living on a knife-edge of belly-button-related woe, of which they are blissfully ignorant.
“It’s one of the great hidden epidemics of our age,” said socked.co.uk’s below the knee fashion expert Mark Hall, “With medical science making giant inroads into all kinds of serious, life-threatening conditions, it’s the tiny ones they’ve ignored that could be mankind’s undoing.”
A study into belly-button lint found over 2,368 bacterial species, including 1,458 which were possibly new to science. In one specimen who had not bathed for a considerable period, species of “extremophile” bacteria usually only found in volcanic vents or icecaps were found.
“It’s frightening,” said Mark Hall, “Medical science is finding it hard to identify these bacteria from even a few stinky individuals. Heaven knows what potential international pandemic is lurking in the blue belly fluff of some innocent hobo.”
According to socked.co.uk:
Only 8% of men clean their belly buttons
32% of men were squeamish about their navels
9% say they have “outie” belly buttons and don’t know what the fuss is about
Further studies suggest that men who wear particularly tight clothes, or spend prolonged periods in conditions that lead to excessive sweat are more likely to have bacteria-heavy navel lint.
“The study comes to one irrevocable conclusion,” said Hall, “Lack of grooming and personal cleanliness means exposure to potentially dangerous bacteria.”
Urging further research from Britain’s finest virologists and experts in communicable diseases, Socked said they would be willing to sponsor any official study if it helped to save mankind.
“We at Socked are doing our bit against the equally dangerous menace of toe jam by promoting good quality, clean cotton socks for gentlemen. It’s time we made a stand for belly-buttons too,” said Hall.
“That’s why we’d happily supply fresh socks to the lab team to ensure there’s no toe jam/belly-button lint cross-contamination.
“That’s a scenario that’s unlikely to happen in a controlled lab environment, but we’ve got to help any way we can,” said Hall.
A study on the content of men’s navels can be found here: Belly Button Fluff Facts