Unless one is engaged in a game of water polo, under water chess, or drinking champagne on the back of a speed boat, water is a place that does not lend itself to foolish horseplay.

How to save a drowning swimmer

If one spots a water chum who is in need of assistance, remember to stay calm and follow the techniques outlined below. Please remember that you are not in an episode of Baywatch, this is a dangerous situation and there are no time for jokes.

Step 1. First be sure that the water chum is actually in need of help and isn’t in fact simply horsing around. If its the latter then deduct them 10 gentleman points.

Step 2. You must think fast. It only takes 1 minute for someone to drown, a child who is in danger and panicking will drown even faster.

Step 3. Assess the risks quickly. Is the water flowing fast? Is there an under current, is your water chum caught in an overpowering current?

Step 4. Don’t be a hero – Shout for help. If there is not a trained life guard around you will need to to get into the water, and any assistance is greatly appreciated at this stage for example having someone call the emergency services and find extra help.

Step 5. Find the fastest way to reach your water chum. The rules are

Reach to Him

Throw to Him

Paddle to Him

Swim to Him

Reach to Him

By using any available pole, tree branch, fishing rod, boat ore etc reach out to the water chum and at the same time instruct them to grab hold. If you can’t find a sturdy stick then act fast, you can use an item of clothing such as a shirt or coat, by holding on to one sleeve the other will reach out quite far.

If it is possible to reach your water chum with your hand, do so. But remember to avoid being pulled into the water, lie flat on the ground with your legs spread to ensure you have the best balance. Only reach out with one arm keeping the other on dry land and always ensuring that you do not let your shoulders slip out over the water.

Throw to Him

First look for a life ring, if one is not available throw anything that will float to your water chum, a ball, air mattress, a wave board or a surf board. If your water chum has a float this will allow them to catch their breath, keep their head above water and will go a long way to calming them down. At this stage you could throw them a rope if you are able to find one quickly and tow them back to dry land.

Paddle to Him

No time to wait for a lifeboat, in an emergency any type of boat becomes a lifeboat, be it a pedalo, dinghy, kayak or lido. Always approach the water chum with care, if a wave rocks the boat and hits them in the head, they could be knocked unconscious which would make the situation far worse than it already is. Instead of rowing close to the water chum, you should, if at all possible encourage them to come to you. If you can throw them a life line, if you are in a small boat, its much safer for them to hold on to something and be towed back to dry land, instead of risking capsizing the boat by dragging and hauling them aboard.

Swim to Him

If you can’t wade out and throw to him then you must swim. Do not swim directly up to them, if possible keep out of their reach and throw them a lifeline so you can tow them back to safety. Its a natural reaction for a panicking person in fear of their life to grab hold of you and try to climb on top of you. If this happens you must free your self from their grip and swim out of their range. Clam them down, insist that they should resit thrashing around, and to tilt their head back and spread their arms out so they will float with ease. Once they are in this position you should approach from behind

If they start to panic again keep talking to them explaining what you are about to do and that you will have them out of danger and on dry land in no time at all. Its important to sound confident be calm and be constantly  reassuring when doing this.

The Royal Lifesaving Society UK run professional lifesaving courses and you should contact them to learn the many techniques that can be used to save someone from drowning, these unfortunately cannot all be learned nor mastered by reading a blog post on a black sock subscription journal for discerning gentleman.