Not to be confused with Holy Socks, the most famous expample of these being the Turin Socks, the white pair worn with sandals by Jesus the day of the Last Supper. It is testament to Our Lord’s greatness, that only the Son of God was able to pull off the socks-and-sandals look without drawing adverse comment.
Holey socks, on the other hand, are socks with holes and an affront to every good-thinking person.
Socks with holes show a slovenly attitude that should not be tolerated in polite society. We have witnessed with our own eyes gentlemen who we thought were well dressed and well turned out individuals kicking off their shoes to find more holes than the surface of the moon. Quite naturally, we made our excuses and left and never spoke to them again.
Extreme poverty aside, there is no excuse for wearing holey socks, and it is every man’s mission to ensure that their socks are fully prepared for action whenever they are needed. And you, as a citizen, can play your part in rooting out this menace.
If you know somebody who routinely wears socks with holes, tell them about socked.co.uk, and encourage them to take out a sock subscription. We guarantee that the only hole you’ll see is the big one at the top through which you put them on.
Celebrity Wearer: Any big brother contestant ever.