Christmas Socks

Christmas socks, in our opinion have their place. And that place is in the “20p to clear” bin in shops and supermarkets in the weeks after Christmas.

The major problem with Christmas socks is that they are specifically designed and marketed to be worn on one day only – December 25th – and, at a push, on Boxing Day. This means the cotton has been planted, grown harvested, spun into yarn, made into socks, packaged, transported halfway round the world from the factory in China, sold, wrapped and unwrapped to be worn once. ONCE.

This waste of the greatest invention in this civilisation’s history (the sock) makes us angry and we wish that people would think twice before buying planet-killing novelty socks.

There are only two kind of Christmas socks of which we approve:

1. The Christmas stocking, the bigger the better

2. The gift of a subscription, bringing black cotton non-novelty socks straight to the gentleman’s front door throughout the year.

Celebrity Wearer: Terry Wogan