Cartoon Socks

Are you over eight years old? Then our advice to you is to put down that hilarious pair of cartoon socks and walk away from the shop. Cartoon socks are – and we have a whole sheath of papers from the United Nations authored by people with loads of letters after their names – are the bane of society that will eventually bring civilisation to its knees.

No, we are not going to stop anybody from going out in public wearing socks featuring their favourite cartoon characters, because it’s a free world. However, there is nothing worse in the world of business than sitting in a meeting where your opposite number crosses their legs, and their trousers ride up to reveal Fred Flintstone shouting “Yabba Dabba Dooo!” That is, all things considered, a big Yabba Dabba Don’t.

Worse, while the forces of sanity are trying to show a good example by wearing top quality black gents’ socks (for example, of the sort available on a subscription basis from socked.co.uk), the finest minds of our generation are being wasted on the design, manufacture and shipping of novelty cartoon socks when thy could be fighting global warming instead. The planetary implications caused by cartoon socks, in this context, are clear to see.

If you hate Planet Earth, go ahead and wear Tom and Jerry socks. See if we care

Celebrity Wearer: Donald Trump.