The gold standard of socks (unless you wear socks made of gold, then they’d probably be the gold standard of socks). Black socks are worn by anyone who has any desire to get on in life. Gone is the frivolity of novelty socks. Gone are the poor fashion choices that had you wearing white socks into the office. Black socks are the mark of a gentleman (and let’s not be sexist) and the gentlewoman.
Any person worth their salt, from the Prime Minister to your local vicar via the chap who runs your corner shop wears black socks. They’re not worn as a uniform of conformity, but because they look right, they feel right, and don’t make you look like a complete nerk when you’re sitting with your legs crossed.
Black socks are the very foundation on which the British Empire was founded, and their tradition continues to this very day through the Socked black sock subscription service, which is as essential to this nation as the Ravens in the Tower of London.
Celebrity Wearer: James Bond, 007 (Q Division Black Socks featuring flame-thrower)