Birthday Socks

It’s your birthday. And what’s this? Is it the iPad you wanted? You bet your life it isn’t – it’s another pair of novelty birthday socks. According to the people who design and market birthday socks, there’s no better way to mark your birthday than to wear a bright pink pair of socks saying “40th birthday boy” on the side, in public, where people might see you. People not involved in the design and marketing of birthday socks tend to disagree with this claim, and point to proper presents, cake and getting stupidly drunk as far better ways to mark a birthday.

The major problem with birthday socks is that you can only wear them on your birthday, or on days when you are in the midst of a sock emergency and they are the only pair you have left. Then, when somebody says “Oh, is it your birthday?” you are forced to lie rather than admit you are in the middle of a sock emergency. Your life has become a whirlpool of untruths, my friend, all because of birthday socks.

Instead of novelty socks, then, why not give your loved one the gift of a Socked subscription? Great quality black socks which won’t mark you out as a liar.

Celebrity Wearer: Eighties Megastar Timmy Mallett