November 27th 2012 |
Quite often ladies can not find a suitable suitor and have to make do with a lesser gentleman, which can prove to be both stressful and problematic. As the issues faced with dealing with a lesser gentleman are not overcome with ease and require a lifetime of retraining, therefore we have created this handy guide for ladies who have to deal with lesser gentlemen.
1. The Toilet seat
Unfortunately as the lesser gentleman is a neanderthal your moans and groans about the toilet seat will go unheard, he will argue that he needs it up and you need it down. As long as he does not moan about you leaving it down perhaps you should put this issue to one side, some things cannot be changed with any amount of retraining.
Unfortunately he will not not see your weekly shopping trips as fun. Your attempts to ‘drag’ him round the shops, when he could be simply lying on the sofa will only result in consistent arguments. He will believe that you do have too many clothes and far too many shoes already. The key here is to either promise to stop off for a pint or two at the end or better yet leave him at home.
He will not understand your tears, the lesser gentleman will only cry when his car breaks or his football team loses, crying at any other time will simply confuse him and lead him to believe he is stupid which may result in an argument.
When you want something from a lesser gentleman you have to be direct and ask for exactly what you want and perhaps also write this down, email it and text it. Subtle hints will not work, neither will strong hints, you must be direct.
For the lesser man yes and no are totally acceptable answers to any question, you must use open questions to trick him into providing a lengthier answer. Start your conversation off with a what, how or why question.
This also applies in reverse if he poses the question ” what’s wrong?” and you respond “nothing” then he will believe that nothing is wrong and the conversation is over.
Please note the best time to strike up a conversation with a lesser gentleman is during a commercial break. Good topics for conversation starters include sport and beer.
The lesser gentleman does not know the meaning of this word nor concept. You will only be upsetting yourself if you expect it, as he will be oblivious to it.
7. Does my bum look big in this?
This question is a non starter, your’e not dating James Bond or a gentleman who can think fast, the lesser gentleman will answer quickly and abruptly. Please note any DR will be able to tell you what your correct weight should be. However if one does think they are fat then perhaps one should join a local gym?
He will also think that he is a great shape as a circle is a shape.
8. Navigation help
The lesser gentleman will not take kindly to your help and assistance with map reading or route guidance, even when it has proven to be a help.
As the lesser gentleman is still more monkey than man, he will need to itch and scratch himself, this is normal behaviour for him. Your best hope is to try to teach him only to do this in private.
10 . Colours
For the lesser gentleman peach and pumpkin are types of fruit and not colours. Saying anything different will cause confusion which will lead to frustration and possibly an argument.
If you make the lesser gentleman sleep on the sofa, then this will not feel like a punishment. He likes camping and will see it as a treat.
If you are at your wits end then a gift subscription to socked is the first step at becoming a gentleman as is looking through our gentleman tips section which should expedite your retraining matters quickly for you.