April 26th 2013 |
Socks are – without shadow of a doubt – the number one item of clothing to put on your feet if you discount “shoes”, “boots” and “carpet slippers”. But did you know…
FACT: Socks were invented by Sir Edmund Sock during the industrial revolution, as a means of selling thirty miles of tubular fabric produced by a broken spinning machine. Before Sir Edmund’s intervention, people simply wore sacks on their feet.
FACT: The world’s most expensive sock is the £30m Emperor Diamond Sock, woven with precious jewels and gold thread. It is – however – completely useless as its makers neglected to create a pair.
FACT: America’s leading sock manufacturer the Tupelo Sock Inc bit the dust after an ill-fated plan to sell socks in threes to give buyers an extra sock in case one got lost. Puzzled buyers just left them on the shelf causing one of the greatest sock business calamities of our modern age.
FACT: Punters are already queuing outside Apple Stores for the new iSock, which is set to revolutionise sock wearing. The company claims the iSock will wipe out the need for shoes, but critics say they’re just slippers with a £200 price tag.
FACT: To prevent losing socks, simply tie them to a 100 yard piece of rope. When they fall into an alternative dimension, just give the rope a sharp tug to pull your socks back.
FACT: The peak time for buying socks is ten minutes before the shops close on Christmas Eve. Many customers are unaware that socks are available to purchase all year round, from …Yep you guessed it .
FACT: Why have the following dead world leaders all got in common? Mao Tse-Tung – Adolf Hitler – Mu’ammar al-Qadaffi – Josef Stalin. WHITE SOCKS.
FACT: The billionaire Sultan of Brunei owns the world’s largest sock drawer, which is spread over three storeys of his mansion and has a staff of thirty.
FACT: Human evolution means that socks will have to be redesigned to account for an extra toe by the year 5,000,000 AD.
FACT: The cheese smell in socks comes not from human bacteria being passed into the material (as so-called ‘scientists’ and ‘doctors’ claim), but from the Sock Fairy who comes at night and rubs his smelly cheese into your socks. The Sock Fairy doubles up as the Tooth Fairy, explaining why you often wake up with a crusty sock under your pillow.